“Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.”
Oscar Wilde
I wonder where Wilde was coming from?
I have pondered much over the importance of being honest in conversation and recognising it's not always an easy thing to do. From my own experience (including in my caring role, and as a 40 plus year old British Asian woman) social and cultural conventions have placed great judgements about what are or not considered as appropriate subjects -depending on who you are talking to. Even with the closest of friendships and relationships, this can still happen and it can feel really tough. Yet, our own internalised judgements and resulting expectations (possibly based on first-hand experience or simply absorbed from our environment) can be just as detrimentally powerful in confusing expression and feeding those isolating feelings of being misunderstood.
Examples might include:
my power?
Well, I have decided to take the plunge of practising the art of honest conversation and invite you on this journey with me. I will be exploring all sorts of issues including - life during the menopause, making sense of the irrational, a woman's wisdom, the value of being a Crone in the 21st century, challenges of being a carer to a deaf-blind husband, anger as a catalyst for change, having needs and making sense of them . . . and more.
Are you ready? . . . Let's go . . .
. . . . to follow my blog posts, you need to click on the small icon next to the 'Praxis' icon (top left hand side) where you will get the blog post listing
Oscar Wilde
I wonder where Wilde was coming from?
I have pondered much over the importance of being honest in conversation and recognising it's not always an easy thing to do. From my own experience (including in my caring role, and as a 40 plus year old British Asian woman) social and cultural conventions have placed great judgements about what are or not considered as appropriate subjects -depending on who you are talking to. Even with the closest of friendships and relationships, this can still happen and it can feel really tough. Yet, our own internalised judgements and resulting expectations (possibly based on first-hand experience or simply absorbed from our environment) can be just as detrimentally powerful in confusing expression and feeding those isolating feelings of being misunderstood.
Examples might include:
- Wanting to share what's painful and awkward and yet, somewhere in the air of that conversation, there's an assumption that it's better avoided than raised. But for whose benefit?
- There's simply my own expectation that people don't want to listen to me sharing 'me' or simply cannot hear what I am saying - so what's the point?
- What I want to share will be judged as overwhelming, controversial, off the radar - and I will be at risk of being ignored/rejected because of being judged as someone to be avoided
my power?
- There's an unspoken assumption that being British means 'stiff upper lip' i.e. 'be strong'. Disclosure might equate to vulnerability, weakness, unable to cope or worst still, the ultimate phantasy, as being viewed as a failure - oh no!
Well, I have decided to take the plunge of practising the art of honest conversation and invite you on this journey with me. I will be exploring all sorts of issues including - life during the menopause, making sense of the irrational, a woman's wisdom, the value of being a Crone in the 21st century, challenges of being a carer to a deaf-blind husband, anger as a catalyst for change, having needs and making sense of them . . . and more.
Are you ready? . . . Let's go . . .
. . . . to follow my blog posts, you need to click on the small icon next to the 'Praxis' icon (top left hand side) where you will get the blog post listing